Hi people.
Today was Raeannes last day at school. I would have liked to spend more time with her, however, we were madly planning last minute things for her big 'surprise' party. I must say a huge thanks to Vivien, Thuy, Lucy, Karin, Michelle, Raelene and Louise. They worked so hard and dragged this party through like true warriors. And this fact makes my heart swell with pride. Today at the party. i Should have been crying. But my heart is frozen. Lately, i feel like i cant feel anything. Especially love for my friends. Even though i love them. Im not sure what has happend. But its kind of likemy brain did a system clean up and it accidently cleared te firendship file and its lost. But its in the hardrive somewhere. I feel really bitter. Like....i dont care about anyone. Even myslef to some degree.Im not sure. My hearts a big tin. My parents sai friends dont matter. And i have reinforced that into my system. and i hate it im not happy. But now its frozen my heart. I love people. But sometimes, i have to be alone to win. Or not.
bitter?
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Hey carmen,
first up I'd like to say thank you for saying thanks to me :D But you know, you deserve praising too because you did a lot for Rae's party as well!
I can't say I know how you feel because I don't- but I know what you're talking about, and I understand. People sometimes DO need to be alone to fight their own battles, but what is important is that they know they always have friends there for them when they need them. Like you. You have us, and whenever you need us, we're there for you. I support you in this battle you're having at the moment, and so whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to listen to when you're trying to smooth over or understand things, I'm here. The best of luck, carms.
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