helloooo
as you can see i havent been blogging for a while. its partially because i am trying to get into a good study habit, but also because I everytime I come to this place, I don't know what to write. Having said that, its not as though I have no thoughts to write, rather I just don't know what is appropriate to put down. I remember at one stage, I used to put every one of my thoughts down here, but now, not only do I not blog what I think, I don't talk about it any more. Maybe its a sign that I'm sweeping some of my naivety out the door? or not?

Everything that I write seems so trivial to me, but I can ramble on about it for pages and pages. Jenny. maybe I should put my thoughts down into an essay =D

General update.
I am going to the snow tomorrow, but only for a day. I'm only going because dad wants to go and he's been having a rough month at work ( lousy lousy employees!). I actually have a large stack of art homework to do.
Hahaha art. I think I should drop that goddamned subject. I hate it so much I love it. nah, I lied. But yeah, that subject rarely brings any joy to my life. I like drawing and going to galleries, but I don't want to be more obsessed with it than I need to be; plus, I hate being locked up in my room painting for days till I get it perfect, only to hate that stupid thing after that. Heartbreaking really. Hm. So if anyone asks, I didn't give art up; I just faced the fact that that thing isnt terrific for my wellbeing. Just don't tell Ms C, she'll murder me.

All I want to do in my spare time these days is to read and watch small budget films that no ones heard of. I really like the 19th century Industrial Revolution thing we're doing at school. Its funny, because I feel like I can sort of relate to it. I was watching The Mill on the Floss last night, and yeah, it had a shit deus ex machina sort of ending, but it was so sad still! No, I don't have two suitors chasing after me, but I felt like I could relate to her.
Also, I am reading The Joy Luck Club, which is a TERRIFIC book for all Chinese daughters to read, yeah, ESPECIALLY YOU LUCY. It really helped me understand myself and my mum a lot better. Its really funny how, about two years ago, I really really disliked my mum. I knew that I had a duty to see her in a positive light, because she was my mother, but I didn't know what it was about her, that I had to respect. But after that close brush with divorce my parents had, I saw nearly exactly how much my mum had endured, and now she has my respect. Amazing, huh?